the day i found out [01.03.07], i took the pregnancy test in a pharmacy bathroom in downtown mt carmel. all i could do was hand the test to cory, walk into another aisle, and then start bawling, right on the floor of rite-aid. eventually, cory found me, we went for a walk, and had a long talk. at that point, i wasn't sure if he was ready to be a dad or if i was ready to be a mom, but i knew in my heart i could never have an abortion. i told him that if he really wasn't prepared for this, that i would willing walk away & never bother him again. I offered to even sign a written contract saying that i would never ask him for any money [child support] or anything else for the baby [i know, corny, but it felt like the right thing to do at the time b/c i knew how big of a surprise this would be for both of us and i was prepared to deal with it on my own if i needed to]. he said something to me that meant everything to me at the time and helped me realize that he would be there through it all with me. he said "i love you, dorie. i've known that & i knew that eventually we would have kids together. i thought we'd get married first, but i love you as much as i would if i were married to you, so we can do this together now."
wow, it felt like such a relief to hear that.
over the next three days, we started telling people [starting with family], signed a lease on our apartment, and began preparing for the our little surprise.
fast-forward 16 months...
that surprise is now our wonderful, amazing little boy. he is seriously EVERYTHING to us. the most perfect, sweetest, happiest, cutest baby EVER! it's such a great joy to be around him. he laughs all the time! in fact, as i type this, i just finished feeding him [sweet potatoes & a sippy cup full of water... mmm :P] and he's right behind me in his exersaucer laughing up a storm. every morning, he wakes me up by pulling my hair & laughing. sometimes he laughs just because his daddy looks at him the right way. =]
i dont know what me or cory would ever do without him. the thought of him being hurt or sad destroys us. for example, last night cory jumped out of a sound sleep because i dropped something & it made a thud like the baby falling off the bed. he was beside himself until i told him it was me.
and by the way, steve is soo in love with us too. if we so much as look away from him during play time he cries. if we walk away he screams. :P he's started to hug us & kiss us [mouth wide open, pressed onto our cheeks, followed by a smile]. it melts my heart every time! he calls me "mama", cory "dada", and his bottle "baba". he's starting to crawl & if we go on our computer while he's playing on the floor with toys, he'll crawl to my feet & cling onto my leg until i pick him up and go play with him. =]
nothing has ever made me happier than cory & steve do every day. looking back on how everything happened, i wouldn't change a thing. no, it might not have been planned, but i couldn't have planned anything better. =]
ps- sorry for the sappy post... i was just in the mood for reminiscing...
oh and here's a picture of my boys doing what they do best :P
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